Ruma Ruma
I’ve never lived anywhere I felt at home. For much of my life I have moved around, this has been my constant in life. So as I grew older it was only natural I would follow this pattern. When Mat & I first met he was 22, I was 20. Both of us had no family unit (mum/dad). At the time I was estranged from my biological mother and I had only met my biological father once as a 6 month baby. Both Mat’s parents had passed away.
It was through friendship we began our relationship, to be honest with what I know now, I know it was the only way my nervous system would let love in. I never trusted anyone, so it was easy for me to sabotage before something could manifest. With Mat it was different. He was gentle and kind, which allowed me to lower my walls to fall in love. When Mat and I babysat my cousin’s son one night, he pictured a life with me with a baby and after not much convincing I said yes. But I did not say yes in vain. When I said yes to having a baby, I said yes to the responsibility of being a mother.
I grew up not having both biological parents and the pain of being unwanted has been unbearable at times. So when I said yes, it was in a way like reclaiming the story of my life. Our lives moved so fast after deciding to have a baby and a month before our eldest daughter Avia (pronounced R’V’R)was born we moved to the Gold Coast. This was a major transition in Mat’s life, leaving behind where he grew up. I can see him still, standing in the driveway, feeling lost as clear as day in my minds eye. I wish at those times, I knew how to reach him, in a way that made him feel safe. But we were both just a couple of kids, who didn’t have much guidance.
Now he was in a new town, having a baby and feeling like he needed to provide for a family. But it wasn’t long until he found an apprenticeship as a diesel mechanic and life was flowing, we bought our first home and in the interim he enlisted in the army. He had always wanted to serve and in August 2007, 2 years after Avia was born he was enlisted into the Army to complete his apprenticeship.
After he achieved his physical training requirements, we packed up, put our home up for rent and began our time in the army. We moved to Wodonga 2008. That same year our second daughter Chloë would be born in December. Five days after she was born we would be travelling up to Townsville (Mat’s hometown) for his next posting. As you can see moving and change has never being an issue for me. So when Mat joined the army I saw it as an opportunity. It’s funny when you grow up with no home, how much that becomes your home.
Then we found this little home (Ruma Ruma) in October 2018 and somehow she started to change me. Maybe because when my whole world (and possibly most of the world in 2019) collapsed in front of me, it was her who held me within her walls. Nestled away from the world, she allowed me the space to finally grieve all my pain. It’s here I found my heart. It’s here I found the magick of surrender. It’s here Mat showed me what it meant to live in purpose and build a life together. Before that I always felt in control. Never allowing myself the possibility of being held. It’s here I truly fell in love with all the parts of me, all the parts that never felt like they belonged.
Funny thing is it’s number 29. As you may have read earlier 29, has always shown up in both Mat & I our lives together. Our first home was a 29, we got married 20.09.2009, even our godson is a Master 29/11. I hope to share the story of him in the future (Leo☺️). If I was to tell you all the synchronicities that has lead us down this path you just wouldn’t believe me.
29/11 in Numerology is the number for intuition, leadership, initiation and is deeply connected to community. Mat is a 35/8 and I’m a 26/8 Life Path in Numerology, together with our differing strengths have somehow formed ‘Creative Roots’, two 8’s working side by side is a powerful force. 8 is the number for service, it is also a karmic number so whatever it puts out, it gets back 10 Fold. That can go two ways 😅. I think since we got together we were continuously seeking the balance of power (8) and control (8) within the dynamics of our relationship.
Mat always saw us as a team, in his defence! But because I was so heavily focused on having my independence (and lived unconsciously through the lens of my own traumas/belief systems/conditionings) I refused in a lot of ways to see it. Then I started to follow his lead, his vision and the more I did, the more I finally truly understood him and his devotion to me and our family. As our daughters go through their major transitions, we too are transitioning. They are now ready to embark on their journey as young people and we too are finding purpose in this part of our lives. As parents we can hold on so tight, we don’t allow our kids to bump and fall. But it’s important to trust in their abilities by actually trusting their abilities!
This is the way they will be able to navigate through life. When we trust them, they trust themselves. When we tell them the world is safe, they feel like they can spread their wings. Since moving here there has been huge energetic shifts and when the Community shows up each month, we know they are hearing the call for change, for a new way of Being. I’m in awe as recently we have discovered who built this little home (thank you to this lovely person we have the very first photos of our home...eeek!). The Universe works in mysterious ways and since moving to our Ruma Ruma🏡,I have realised the more I surrender, the more magick happens.
There is so much to tell and throughout time I hope to share.
Big Hugs x
Mish
❤️