Redefining Kindness: Choosing Yourself Without Guilt
- Lamisha Lamisha
- Mar 30
- 2 min read
Redefining Kindness: Choosing Yourself Without Guilt
For so long, we’ve been conditioned to believe that being a “good person” means sacrificing ourselves for the comfort of others. That kindness is measured by how much we can endure in silence, how much of ourselves we can give without question and how little we inconvenience anyone around us. But true kindness isn’t about self abandonment.
Kindness does not mean swallowing your discomfort to keep the peace. It does not mean saying “yes” when every part of you is screaming “no.” It does not mean tolerating mistreatment just to avoid conflict.
You can be a kind, loving person and still say:
“I don’t have the time or energy for this right now.”
“This makes me uncomfortable, please stop.”
“I respect your perspective, but I see things differently.”
“I’m not okay with this.”
Boundaries are not walls—they are invitations for deeper respect, for truer connection, for honesty without resentment. When you set a boundary, you’re not rejecting someone—you’re simply choosing to honour yourself as much as you honour them.
Where Are You Abandoning Yourself?
If you’ve spent your life equating kindness with self sacrifice, stepping into self advocacy might feel uncomfortable at first. You might feel guilt creeping in, telling you you’re being selfish. But take a breath—self care is not selfish. It is an act of self respect.
Ask yourself:
• Where in my life am I saying yes when I actually mean no?
• What fears arise when I think about setting a boundary?
• What does true kindness look like when I include myself in the equation?
• How would my life change if I trusted that my needs mattered too?
Honouring Yourself is an Act of Kindness
The way you treat yourself sets the tone for how the world treats you. When you advocate for yourself, you give others permission to do the same. When you honour your own boundaries, you teach the people around you that kindness can exist without self-erasure.
So today, practice being kind—to yourself, first. Say what you need to say. Honour what you need to honour. You can be kind without making yourself small.
Big Hugs x
Lamisha
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